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This might not be what you expect it to be. Since I've more or less stopped drawing, dA's become a place for me to do some writing and (semi-)vent a bit.


Need For Speed World was a game I played in probably 2013? I forget exactly when, but it was reasonably early. Early enough that earning in-game cash was quite difficult and the majority of cool cars and items could only be purchased with real currency. While the game isn't necessarily the important part of this, I still like(d) it so I'll go over it a bit. We know I like racing games, and customisation is a pretty big part of the experience for me. There's a reasonable amount in there, though I prefer something closer to the original Underground and Underground 2 (in my opinion 2 went a little overboard, but I still liked it). But back to World, I liked it because it was refreshing, had a good range of new and old cars, and had decent multiplayer. (I don't have particularly high standards, anyway.) The map was a bit nostalgic, because it was just Most Wanted and Carbon combined, but it had been long enough since I'd played those that it didn't get too boring or repetitive.

I think one of the reasons I didn't mind the Pay to Win part of World was that I'd previously played some similar online games (card games, because I like those too apparently) with paid content and seemed to do fine without. Those games, I won't talk about them here, were reasonably achieveable without paying money (I admit I did), but did end up pretty fun in my 12v/13v years. I imagined that World would be similar, that so long as I didn't mind missing out on some of the best, fanciest cars I could get by on the free content, and that was somewhat true, I suppose. I did get bored of it sooner or later, though, so I did quit for a long while. I mostly forgot about it, made a few jokes about the about of paid content, and went on to other things from there.

As most teenagers do, I decided at some point to revive some of my old interests/hobbies, and racing games were high on the agenda. I went back to my old NFSs (I owned 4 on PS2, and a few other games as well), which were pretty fun, and I also got back into World for a while. I noticed that it was a lot easier to earn in-game money compared to what I remembered a year or so earlier, so that was a nice addition. I played quite a bit then, logging in daily for daily rewards (only reached a streak of about 2 or 3 weeks, because of intermittent events and such), and it was actually quite fun saving up to buy cool stuff, some of which I actually got pretty lucky on. Of course, with any games like this there's a lot of chance, and I suppose I went 50-50 in terms of getting things I wanted. I did end up saving for a Lamborghini (Reventon, it was the last car I bought and I quite enjoyed my time with it), as well as some other nice things. Around that point I started reading up on the internet (mostly the forums) about World and the things going on with the game, and I found out to my disappointment that the game's servers would be going down at some point in the near future.

I suppose, at that point I changed my view on the game quite a bit. It was still fun, as a quick diversion, but with the events and reminders that "it's only so long until the end of the World" the game really felt like it was coming to a close. So I enjoyed it for a bit, while I could, while not investing too much time into it, knowing that the deadline was soon. I, with some others, would've wanted the last week or day(s) to release all locked content for free, for people to mess around with while the game was still up, but that never happened in the end. I don't really think this game now that it's dead, but I remember being a little disappointed; after all, there were cars I wanted to drive, mods I wanted to try out, that in the end I just couldn't get my hands on. In the end, though, I left a fair bit before the game was over, at least a week, and didn't stay for the final cruise that was organised for its last hours.

Looking back, I'd like to say that I fled the sinking ship before it went down, though of course I believe the game ended on a reasonably good note. (At least it didn't go into decline, with empty servers on the last week.) And even earlier, that was the same mindset I wanted for one of the online card games I had played for a long time, but quit before it was shut down. I like to think that I left while I had the choice, and while I still enjoyed the game - it was reaching a point where, in my opinion, any new releases were uninteresting and progress felt like a grind (which, before, it already was, but then I had some sort of mental goal to work towards). If I knew that the game was going to be shut down, and that the time, effort and $10 I put into the game would be worthless at the end, would I still have chosen to invest in it for two years in hindsight? And on a different scale with World, would I have chosen to return to enjoy those later days if I'd known that my daily pastime wouldn't exist in two or three months time?

I still don't have answers to those questions, and I think they would often change depending on a whole bunch of factors. But while this is all reflection on the past, and how I spent a small fragment of my teenage years, for me living now as a Christian, I have (among others) a much more pressing, consequential, urgent question, first and foremost to myself: If this world is going to pass away, if I myself will cease to live at some day, and I know there is an eternity in store, how do I spend this life? Do I invest my time, effort, money, into this world now? I believe that my answers are given to me from the Bible. And it's ironic to me that Need for Speed World was called that, as it's sort of a metaphor for my own world, and that this analogy would become relevant.


Food for thought, I guess. But what about you? Is this a question that you believe is relevant, and do you have, or even want, the answer? At least for me, eternity is a long time. ~~
I'm the same age as dA! hooray! (give or take a bit i guess)
So, to the questions:
  1. How long have you been on DeviantArt? had to check this one, a month short of 2 years

  2. What does your username mean? it just sounded cool ;p made it and it stuck

  3. Describe yourself in three words. Jesus | piano | art

  4. Are you left or right handed? right

  5. What was your first deviation? looks like "nightmare experiment", after discovering dAmuro (which I still use)

  6. What is your favourite type of art to create? currently/recently would be digital (since getting a tablet a year ago)

  7. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be? "the art of learning!" jk, maybe calligraphy? not too sure

  8. What was your first favourite? "The Pokeball of Rainbow Dash" yes, i do like ponies, but just casually

  9. What type of art do you tend to favourite the most? i guess landscapes, both photography and drawn (cool looking scenes)

  10. Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist? i'd say yuumei, for axent wear and fisheye placebo and generally cool art

  11. If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be? not sure, maybe Frey-Frey-Fire 

  12. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life? Menaria stands out for making her opinions known and not taking crap from people (i'm not sure how i discovered you without playing tf2, but somehow i did)

  13. What are your preferred tools to create art? would be my laptop and tablet, with a combination of dAmuro and

  14. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art? anywhere i can get inspiration, which i try to store in my head

  15. What is your favourite DeviantArt memory? ooh that's hard... i don't spend enough time here, maybe i'll answer this later

take the plunge.


the first step, the first time is the hardest. after that it's easy.
don't worry, i'll be right here for you.
see, that wasn't so bad, right?
it'll be more natural as you go on, of course.
you're making great progress!

you're doing much better than last time,
going very well by yourself,
i can't believe how far you've come;
i see a lot of potential in you,
keep at it;

you're probably fine by yourself now
you can handle it without me
just go for it
i believe in you
you can do it

take the plunge.

do you go deeper?

do you fly up, gasping for air?
or do you become part of the deep,
the deep a part of you
  • Listening to: the voices in my head
"a way out comes in various forms

    it is the grand finale, reached at the end of a journey
    the glimpse of light in the neverending corridor
    a definitive end to an uncertain adventure

    it is the unseen trapdoor, an unexpected turn of events
    the 'go directly to jail', the triple double
    an unwelcome end to a work in progress

    but is it the departure sought after, the escape yearned for
    the force quit, the alt f4, the command q
    a triumphant seizing of control

    or is it the concession of potential, the relinquish of opportunity
    the white flag of surrender, the back turned away
    a gross wastage, a rejection to an invitation?

but found in ultimately only one."
  • Listening to: the voices in my head
Alright, so I've been tagged by :iconfrey-frey-fire: to do one of these, so here we go!
RULE 1. You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2. You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
Now, here's what you're supposed to do!
Copy and paste this into your journal, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 (do i even have 20) of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.

1. Asked someone to marry you?


2. Kissed one of your friends?

3. Danced on a table in a bar?

4. Ever told a lie?

5. Had feelings for someone whom you can't have?

6. Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

7. Kissed a picture?

8. Slept in until 5 PM

9. Fallen asleep at work/school?

10. Held a snake?

11. Been suspended from school?

12. Worked at a fast food chain/restaurant?

13. Stolen something?

14. Been fired from a job?

15. Done something you regret

16. Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?

17. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

18. Kissed in the rain?

19. Sat on a roof top?

20. Kissed someone you shouldn't?

21. Sang in the shower?

22. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

23. Shaved your head?

24. Slept naked?

25. Had a boxing membership?

26. Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

27. Been in a band?

28. Shot a gun?

29. Donated Blood?

30. Eaten alligator meat?

31. Eaten cheesecake?

32. Still love someone you shouldn't?

33. Have/had a tattoo?

34. Liked someone, but will never tell who?

35. Been too honest?

36. Ruined a surprise?

37. Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk afterwards?

38. Erased someone in your friends list?

39. Dressed in a woman's clothes (if you're a guy) or man's clothes (if you're a girl)?

40. Joined a pageant?

41. Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

42. Still have communication w/ your ex?

43. Cheated on someone?

44. Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?

45. A total stranger treated you by paying your fare?

46. Get totally angry that you cried so hard?

47. Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?

48. Thought about suicide?

49. Thought about murder?

50. How about Mass Murder?


52. Stalked someone?

53. Had a girlfriend/boyfriend

so yeah. pls no judgerino ^v^

tagging :iconkyorukki: :icontrixomaniac: yeah that's all enjoy
So my dA story. It isn't really that interesting, since I haven't been here for that long and I haven't really done anything exciting. I arrived sometime last year, and essentially all I did was upload a few derpy digital pieces and some stuff I did for school/in school (I say 'in school' because a fair few of them weren't in my VA lessons nor for my VA lessons). Sadly I don't do VA now, in favour of Japanese and music, so I draw much less often now. But I've got something somewhat big coming up, which should get me drawing again.

Now while I'm making a journal, does anyone have any good alternatives to using Adobe Flash? because I don't want to pirate it because I'm just that kind of guy.
So I really don't update this much, do I?
I don't have much to say really. Anything important, you can either see on the internet or if I know you in person, you'd know already. Everything you need to know is either here or here (as in dA here).
Have fun browsing through whatever you can find :)
So you might be thinking, "y no new drawings? so impatient much wait". Well, I have drawn a little bit, and I'll be scanning them... soon. I'm using an A5 VA diary that I got as a present from a good friend a while ago, as opposed to my school VA diary (which is kinda falling apart).

In other news, I've been working on some music-related things. As friends who know me well may know, I have strange, obscure tastes in music, and also that I arrange stuff. If anyone's familiar with the Kagerou Project, I've recently arranged Ene's Cyber Journey (エネの電脳紀行). Midi dl Actual song
Enjoy :)
Well I've just discovered Weebly, a website builder, and so far I've found it really appealing and user-friendly, and I think it looks great, too :)
You can have a look at my website at, where I'll be posting my videos and downloads for sheet music/mp3 or similar.
Stay tuned because I'm planning to upload a bit more soon, including everyone's favourite song from osu!stream, Pure Ruby (SHIKI) (on piano not osu because I'm not that good) (once I learn to play it properly. I've made sheets though).
Hey everyone! Just joined DA today for some reason so yeah.
Feel free to say hi! I think of myself as friendly (though I might not reply every time).